I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
