btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize