this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I know her cup size but not her name....
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
