Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
