If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
