I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
