You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
