I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
