I think i peed on brittanys purse
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You need Xanax blowdarts
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
