You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
