Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
