Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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