Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I met the friendliest cop last night
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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