and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
