There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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