No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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