Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
