is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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