Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
