I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I need a hoe opinion
go on
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
