if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
