break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
