Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
They are going to name an STD after you.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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