haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
