That's when you crack a 10am beer
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
