Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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