pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
