Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
