Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
