I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
