I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
