my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
