Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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