i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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