standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize