try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
