My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
