I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
