I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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