is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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