dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
