strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
