i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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