I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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