it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
