Can i not drive my cunt home
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
