make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
