Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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