Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
