i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize