I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
