The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize