i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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