So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
