she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
