I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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