we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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