whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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