The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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