I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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