Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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