ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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