He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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